10 Parenting Mistakes You are Making Unintentionally
Parenting demands greater responsibility and is thus the toughest job out there. All parents want their children to have the best of everything. But sometimes, the want of the best put their children at the risk of developing behaviours that can destroy their future.
Parenting is a pleasant experience for some, while others may find it tiresome. It is not about that exemplary parents don’t make mistakes, or the bad ones are always wrong. But sometimes both parents make mistakes unconsciously.
Some parents need education in parenting as they adopt the self-styled approach in rearing their children. But they are good to have adopted their approach to parenting as all children aren’t the same nether the parents.
However, children are the most receptive beings on earth. They are the copy-cats and learn by copying their parents and from people immediately surrounding them.
So, ultimately, the overall behaviour of parents affect a child's behaviour. Beware in the future whatever you do or say in front of your children, as chances are there that you may affect your children negatively.
Here are the Top 10 Mistakes you do unknowingly which negatively affect your children.
1. Pampering Your Children
Most of the parents take great care of their children, and they call it great parenting. If you are taking care of almost everything of your children and thinking you are doing them a great favour, you are wrong.
By doing everything for them is actually to rob them of their talents of doing. You put a wedge to their creativity. You become the hurdle in their way to learn things doing it by themselves.
If you are doing everything and not letting them do it themselves, it causes children to lack the originality and creativity to deal with life situation themselves. Thus they are always a failure as they never have time to do things by themselves growing up.
2. Shouting at them,
Sometimes you are working on a serious matter, or you are resting after a hectic schedule to relax. Your kids are making noise. What do you do?
Most parents shout at their children. There are many reasons for that. Maybe you are going through unpleasant situations in your life or depressed by the demanding job, so you find your children to give vent to your frustration.
You do it unconsciously. Or sometimes you get out of control to bear someone near you, making many noises and disturbing you.
Or they do nothing in the right way, and you yell at them.
The time you yell, you break something within them. That’s their self-confidence, their courage. You not only do that, but you also give them fear and anxiety.
3. Breaking Promises
Children always demand something from their parents. When you are going for your job or anything else, they demand you to bring them something with you. And you say yes…
Later on, you come home empty-handed. Not bringing what you have promised. They have been waiting all day long just to see you coming without the promised thing.
It breaks their hearts. Children are innocent. They don’t know your condition that what you are facing right now. Neither they take things for granted. They mean everything and they are true to the core. They expect others too to be true to their words.
So, when that expectation is broken, they unconsciously develop hate towards you and also learn to break promises. They get to believe that you are untrue. And this shape their personality.
4. Your Responses to Certain Situations
Children watch and observe your responses to certain situations in life. If your response is always negative, they get that. If a certain situation incites fear and anxieties in you, they also develop fear from that specific thing.
If your behaviour is good with people, they are good. But if you adopt a behaviour which exhibits hate and violence, you will certainly affect them negatively.
So, watch how you respond to something or someone. Watch how you talk and act in front of your children. They copy exactly what you do.
5. Not Monitoring their Routines
Strictly monitoring children’s routines and not giving them a personal space is quite a bad parenting approach. But not monitoring their activities altogether is more destructive.
If you let your children do what they want, it creates serious problems for them in the future. As they will not care for anything. They will only care for what they want. And this attitude can lead them to become a burden for the future society.
Also, if you don’t monitor their daily routines such as how much time they spent watching TV, playing games, or what time they go outside and come home will make them more dangerous.
As they won’t regard authority and they can clash with the authority and can create law and order situation.
6. Making a Comparison
Parents often make a comparison between children.
“Look how he is excelling in his study and you aren’t getting good grades,”
This phrase is often told to students who are doing well enough in certain subjects in their schools.
This can diminish a child’s creativity, and he may become disinterested in his studies.
Such comparison kills a child’s self-esteem, confidence and creativity. He becomes hesitant and always doubts his abilities to do anything.
You may do for the good of your child, but you are ruining his personality.
7. Not Giving them Enough Time to Your Children
Everyone is hell busy in his daily routines and works like a machine. We don’t realize that working all the time not only destroys us but destroys our relationships too.
Working parents are often at odds with their children. Because children demand time. They demand adoration, affection, and love of their parents.
When you ignore them, they feel insignificant in their lives. This aloofness creates distances which lead them towards loneliness and depression.
If you think you are working to make money for your children and to give them a wonderful future at the expense of sacrificing their time, you are doing something seriously wrong.
8. Fulfilling their Demands Always
Children are demanding things always. If you take them with you to a shopping mall or you are crossing a bazaar, they get attracted to almost everything related to children.
They instantly demand to buy it. It’s good to buy things for your children. But if you are fulfilling every demand of them, you are making a big mistake.
You won’t realize it at that time. But when they grow up with such a habit of demanding things, at some time in your life, you won’t be able to buy it for them, they will hate you. They will try to resort to other ways and means to achieve a certain thing. This can lead them to commit serious crimes. Because you have taught them to forgo or leave something. You never taught them not to fulfil every wish.
9. Supporting Them in Everything
Supporting your children in anything is quite a bad parenting habit. Some parents are often trying to defend their child’s minor mistakes at an early stage.
They get encouraged by this act and resort to the even more heinous acts which are also sometimes defended by parents even they know their children are wrong.
Such behaviour can cause greater personality damage and they grow believing that someone is there supporting even their destructive acts.
If you defend their slight mistakes at an early age and don’t correct them on time, you will one day hire lawyers for defending their big crimes.
10. Not Letting Them make Mistakes
However, some parents are extremely controlling and never let their children grow through errors. These parents are overpowering their children unknowingly. They don’t let their children make mistakes and experience life themselves.
The best strategy is to let them learn themselves through their own experience. Let them do it and observe them silently.
Let them learn practically what is good and what is bad.
If you like something and impose on them too, you are making a mistake. You make them rebel against that specific thing which you want them to have.
Impose nothing upon them. Let them come to it by persuading them gradually.
Takeaways
To conclude it, we can say parenting is a hard job for some. But many parents are out there who know the art of parenting. And they love to raise their children with great care not to spoil them.
They are letting them do things for themselves and correcting them when they are wrong. But don’t impose certain things on them without their wish.
These parents don’t impose their dreams on their children to fulfil, which they could not realize. They let them explore it by themselves. But it doesn’t mean that such parents allow their children free to do what they want. They still monitor them.
But some parents overpower their children, impose certain career paths on them to opt for or put them in schools to study those subjects which they won’t understand by nature.
And then they compare them with others and yell at them when they fail to meet their expectations. Such behaviour only to kill their confidence unconsciously. Such parents may think of them as excellent parents, but they are not as good for their children as they can ruin them.
